closer.

dreams are sometimes seems closer when you're not the only one dreaming them.

no, this time i have no story to tell. i've only just got that quote in mind. 

that's quite true, anyway. 

:)

jealousy~

jealous. have you ever felt so? i bet you have. we all have. jealousy is the most natural feeling that humans have. since we're still so young, we've been jealous to everyone, about everything.

when i was in kindergarten i loved to perform traditional dance. me and some friends had at least once a week dance practise, and we're gonna perform it at the end of the school year. 

when D-day came, i was so excited, ready to rock, with my performing costume: super simple traditional clothes, with no thick make-up, no jeweleries, no accessories but a tiny batik scarf which can be used as a hair ornament. well it's fair, since the dance i was gonna perform is called "Tari Mendulang Intan", it is just about the life of the traditional countrywomen whose job is  panning for diamonds.

everything was so alright at the beginning, tapi semua berubah ketika negara api menyerang but it's no longer alright when i saw the dance group from another class. they're gonna perform "Tari Kipas", which i didn't even care what's that about, but i did really care about the costumes they wore. glam pink baju bodo with shiny goldy long necklace and sparkling brass bracelets. suddenly MY costume looked sucks. 

i was so pundung. then for the rest of my dance perfomance i refused to smile even a bit, doing my dance moves perfunctorily. ruined my one year dance practise. haha.

yeah jealousy sometimes brings us disaster if we can't maintain it correctly, as you can see in my story (i know, it's not a really relevant story anyway :p).

IMHO, jealousy is all about something good happens to other people which we wish to happen to us but it doesn't. yet. something good, like having things you really want, do come to some people just like that, with no effort. but for some people, it will come only if they are willing to fight. 

and for another people, however hard they fight to get that thing, they just can't have it. but there's one thing for sure: God is always fair. so you can't get something good you wanted? believe it, He's gonna give you something much better. 

:)

sunday night: galau

this post is about my last sunday night. i was, as any other nights, in my room, doing absolutely nothing but rolling lazily on my bed, when my mom called and asked me to tidy my room up.

this was my condition --> it was sunday night, about 7 pm. the next day would be monday, where my lectures start at 2 pm. i've done all the homeworks for monday and also for the whole week.

i really deserved some idle time. but yeah, anything for you mom.

i was just about to start cleaning my desk when suddenly that feeling came to mind --> galau (yes i failed to find a perfect word in english to describe this word -_-). galau about what? about what i'm gonna do after my graduation.

at first my galauness was only about two simple options: will i work or continue my study for master degree? for that question i texted and chatted several seniors of mine. i didn't ask them about which is better for me in their opinion, but i asked about what THEY will do with themselves. so for the next several hours i ended up laying on my bed, stay tuned with my cells (yeah cells, i have 2, 1 for social networking and browsing, 1 for handling most essential cellphone functions), reading texts and IMs from them.

i found out later that my question about those two options was not an essential one. having been chatted with my seniors, something else came to my mind. the thing that i must ask to myself is: what's your real passion in your life?

passion. one of the most popular words when you're being osjur-ed. the word that every senior emphasized, the thing we all should have and believe in. it's always been only a word for me, but there is a time when i should raise its level from 'only a word' to 'something i can't live without'. the time is about, now.

many of us can't find their real passion till the end of their lives, let other people determine standards of their success and happiness. many of us found their passion, but still, people's standards of success and happiness limit them.

so the second question is: how brave are you? how brave you are to stand for your passion, to prove to the world that this is you and this is what you were born to.

that question ends my galau session. change my state from 'galau condition' to 'very galau condition'. haha. it gave me something new to contemplate, anyway. trust me guys, the 'work-or-continue-study' thing is just easy. pick one, and say: bismillah, everything will be alright. but the 'passion' thing, no it's not that easy.

i myself think that i've got it, my passion, i knew it so long time ago. but there's still the second question. well i haven't been brave enough. *sigh

have you, guys?

#bersih2kamarakhirnyatinggalwacana

welcome!

yeaa, welcome to our 4th year here, fellas. feels like my first day at ITB was only yesterday. 3 years turn out to be not long, moreover this one last year. yes, one last. i'm planning to graduate normally like any other diligent_nice_cari-aman_non-activist_no-lover student (no, i'm not curhat-ing. hm. OK i am, a bit). 

so, i'm gonna live my life here a lil more effectively, do things i've always wanna do but i haven't, such as watching any movie at LFM, watching performances of UKM and ISO, and so on. i'm gonna enjoy every single day on this year, cause today next year i'll be, maybe, somewhere out there, working, earning my first rupiahs (or maybe dollars #ngarep), or maybe i'll be abroad, studying for master degree, who knows.

when that time comes, i'll be really miss this campus. along with everything and everyone related to it. 

alrite let's stop being melancholy. haha. anyway i'll try to write on this blog in english from now on. one said to me that writing in english can train my brain to think fast in english. it'll be useful especially if i haven't be able to speak english very well because it's still take several time to arrange a sentence in english while i already have lots to say in indonesian. it make me helpless. so, yeah i need training.

well, enjoy my newbie english. i'm not gonna change the name "ce.ri.ta" with "sto.ry" anyway :p